Life with 3 kids

I just came across a blog post that talked about how insane having 3 kids is.  I, however, disagree with most of what she said, and felt the need to post a counterpart to it - for myself - and if someone else would enjoy reading what I have to say, so be it.

When we had our second son, I had a really, really (really, really) tough time adjusting to 2 kids.  We had 3 pets before our first son was born, and I found it very easy to adjust to having a human child.  But with the second one, everything seemed out of whack.  I loved him - but I also was disappointed in not getting the little girl I always wanted.  We wanted 2 kids - a boy and girl - or we'd try for a 3rd if we had 2 of one gender.  And that would be it - regardless of what gender we ended up with.  But my second son acted out as a middle child before we even had a third child - so that could have been what made the transition from 1 to 2 so tough on me.  Regardless, I love them all and am very happy with how things turned out and I wouldn't ever trade them for anything.

That being said, I still felt something was missing after having our second son.  I didn't feel like our family was complete.  So we had a third child.  Another boy.  And somehow, I wasn't nearly as upset about finding out he was a boy, as I was finding out my second son was a boy.  We bought our house knowing we'd have 2 or 3 kids, so we'd never "have" to move for that reason.  So we adjusted the bedrooms and office around, and prepared for the 3rd child.  I was laid off from my job when I was 7-8 months pregnant with my 3rd.  I have not gone back to work yet, only because I can't find a job in my field.  So that could play a factor in this next section.

When our 3rd was born, I had the help of my mom for a while, and my husband (who works 3rd shift), since I had a c-section, and the help was great.  The first few weeks were tough just adjusting to a new baby's schedule, while still caring for my other 2 kids.  But I realized I never felt overwhelmed or disappointed like I had after having my 2nd child.  I felt at peace.  I finally felt like our family was complete and that we were now moving forward to the next stage of our lives.  It felt right.  I will admit that I'm a little worried about how that could all change when I find a job and go back to work.  I imagine it will be a different kind of chaos - right now it's just trying to keep up with toys, laundry, dishes, and feedings.  Adding a job to the mix will be more difficult, but, I also won't be doing it all myself anymore at that point - I will have more help from my husband since he's home with the kids during the day.

For me, the transition from 2 to 3 kids was much easier, and so far, is still easier.  My oldest 2 have a "buddy system" when it's just me and the kids, and hold hands while going into my son's preschool or to the store or wherever, while I carry the baby and sometimes his diaper bag.  My husband and I run errands together, as a family, so I'm rarely by myself with them out in public because that's just always been our system, so that's not as hard for me as it would be if I was by myself.  My middle son really looks up to his older brother and when it's time to calm down and help each other out, they're really great at that.

Sure, most things come in sets of 2 or 4 - like free tickets you might win from a sweepstakes, and even some food items.  That doesn't mean needing 5 of something should be so difficult to accomplish - you just buy an extra package of food, or you buy a separate ticket.  Half of our season passes are individual - so we have to buy each one separately; and the other half is for the whole family - with no set number of children on the pass, it just includes all children in the household.  So this has not been a problem for us either.  But either way, when we do have a set of 4 (tickets for example), usually buying 1 extra one is cheaper than buying all 5 - so I'd still happily take the free tickets, knowing I'll have to buy one extra one.  That doesn't bother me one bit.

And yes, we're outnumbered.  But it doesn't feel like it.  My husband and I both have 4 hands - so between the 2 of us, we can hold each child's hand - and still have one free.  Yes, if I'm by myself I'm outnumbered - but we always have our double stroller and my oldest walks next to us.  It's not a problem - it works out well, for us anyway.  We actually have 2 fairly small vehicles - and we have all 3 car seats in the backseats.  They fit fine and it works out great.  I can reach all 3 of them to tend to their needs while we are on the road for long trips (my family lives 3 hours away).  Sure, I would love to have a larger car with a 3rd row (and no, there's no reason at all that it has to be a van - SUV's are just as practical, and for me, much safer since they can come with four-wheel-drive) - but we don't NEED one.

All of my kids are 2 years apart - 2009, 2011 and 2013 - and it was planned that way.  I'm very happy with that decision.  When someone sees us out and about, we always get the comment "You have your hands full!" - yes, we do.  But it works for us, and I love it, and I wouldn't change a thing about it.  I had many people tell me the transition from 1 to 2 was harder on them than 2 to 3 - and vice versa.  Everyone has a different opinion on everything, and what works for one person may not work for another.  That's the beauty of it all - nobody is the same.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and thoughts - and you don't have to agree with any of it.  But you also don't have to knock someone down because their thoughts are different than yours.  Just nod your head and smile and move on - it's not worth arguing over.  So whether you have 0 children, 1 or more children - everyone's different. Everyone deals with it differently.  Just embrace it and make it work for your family - that's all that really matters in the end anyway.